Cowboy Vegetarian Cookbook.

It should come as no surprise that I can't cook. Furthermore, I'm not a very discriminating diner. Matter of fact, the fajitas in this piece actually sound good. When beef gets short a lot of cowboys are forced to do without. The cook must come up with meatless meals. The following recipes are from the Cowboy Vegetarian Cookbook.

TENNIS SHOE TONGUE.
Select an old one. The price is better, and it may have picked up some natural flavor depending on where it has been worn. Boiling is suggested, but it may also be fried to a crisp and served on a bed of marinated sweatshirt. Garnish with pickled shoestring.

SEED CORN CAP PIZZA
Carefully clean with a fish-scaling knife. Remove all metal buttons, rivets, and any plastic tabs. Flatten the cap by soaking in linseed oil, then placing it underneath a doormat that gets heavy use. Once pliable, cover it with lots of cheese and ketchup. Dry kibbles or dust motes may be sprinkled as a topping for variety.

FAN BELT FAJITAS.
The most succulent fan belts can be found on old farm equipment moldering in your bone yard. It should be sliced into bite-sized chunks. Tenderize before cooking by soaking in fingernail polish remover. Fry in lard along with half a hatful of three-quarter-inch, black plastic hose and shredded playing cards. Serve with beer and jalapenos. It tastes a lot like abalone.

RAWHIDE STEW
Ever wondered what to do with those old reins, quirts, or saddle tree bark? This recipe has been tried and tested from ancient Mongolians right up through Donner Pass. Place the strips of rawhide in a pot, and boil for as many weeks as the firewood holds out. What you add to the stew depends on what's available_i.e., pine cones, hoof trimmings, iron pyrite, or old hat brims. It's filling, but don't expect much more.

ROASTED KAK
Ever eat a saddle? Some parts are edible. Dig a hole big enough to bury a small mule. Burn elm, cottonwood, and old tires to get a bed of coals. Wrap the saddle in a plastic tarp (blue), place it on the coals, and cover with dirt. Cook for hours on end. dig up and serve with baked faucet washers. Feeds up to two truckloads of hungry cowboys.



That should give you an idea of what you can do when you run out of beef at the ranch. there are many other cowboy vegetarian recipes, like Latigo Jerky, Gunstock pate, and Smokin' Joe's Copenhagen Torte, but this should get you started.


Written by Baxter Black.

But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither , if we eat , are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse.

But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling-block to them that are weak.

1 Corinthians 8:8-9